Hung out with my aunt and cousin this past weekend in NYC, which was a lot of fun (and a lot of walking, my aunt still runs half-marathons ;). As we were walking, the conversation turned to sex education, and I think I surprised them when I said that if I had a daughter, I'd let my wife talk with her first (she being the relevant subject matter expert ;), but then I'd talk with her and explain that guys just want two things from girls: 1) Food, and 2) Sex (not necessarily in that order). If they say they want anything else, they're lying in order to secure either Food or Sex.
To show why this is, I have to haul out Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which I've edited to reduce redundancy below:
At the first level (bottom of graphic), guys need to secure food and sex regularly (sleep and homeostasis they can do by themselves). Failing this, they are not going to get past Level 1. Please realize that the idea of "regularly" can vary from monthly to hourly, depending on the individual. Also, the idea of food or sex can vary a lot, too, i.e. Ted Koppel's food and sex are probably not the same as Jeffrey Dahmer's.
So, if you're talking with a guy who is starved for food or sex, and if they think you can provide either, they are probably trying to negotiate with you for food or sex, whether you realize it or not.
I am assuming you got rid of Breathing and Excretion in favor of Homeostasis. However, this might be a mistake. While maintaining homeostasis is not possible without breath, breath is possible without homeostasis...or else a whole bunch of diabetics aren't breathing. Homeostasis refers to a wide range of biological (in this case) factors that seek equilibrium, not just excretion and breathing. Just my 2 cents.
Right. Because homeostasis is more complex than respiration/excretion, that's why I left it in. Essentially, I got rid of Breathing and Excretion because recurring deprivations of breathing or execretory are relatively rare compared recurring deprivations of food, sex, sleep, and homeostasis (wikipedia says 1E7 asthmatics in the US versus 2E7 diabetics and 6E7 insomniacs in the US). Granted, these stats are only for the US, which doesn't have the same diabetes/food insecurity ratio as the rest of the world. -- Patrick.
Sure, but that's sorta my point. The HON is complete as is. It's important to understand the HON as it is...and that each subsequent level is dependent on the one under it being fulfilled. Taking things away, and labeling them as redundant is inaccurate, at least in relation to breathing, and excretion - Nathan
rereading my comment, I sound like a pedantic pain in the ass...that wasn't how I intended it to come across. :) - Nathan
No worries. ;) I wonder how good this would be: a dating site with matching based upon frequency of needs. I guess they have to watch out for wedges between what people actually need and what they thought they needed.
Been thinking about this since you posted it, and I think you've oversimplified a bit. Guys can be platonic friends with girls if the girl is in a relationship already and the guy has some integrity. Of course, the guy might be indirectly seeking sex by try to meet other girls through that relationship, but to say that all guys are just out to have sex with you if you're a girl is a little misleading. I personally have been in that situation. I was and still am good friends with my old roommates girlfriend (and my roommate too). Of course, now I have a girlfriend too, but back when we were roommates I didn't. There was no way I would have ever broken them up. I also know of at least a couple single guys who have pulled off at least seemingly platonic friendships with single girls. I have no idea how they managed it, but they did (could be based on the girls lack of romantic interest). The people I'm thinking of are still friends today too. Though now at least one member of each pair has a boy/girlfriend. Hmm... so yeah, I think you're correct in general, but I'm afraid if you were to tell a young girl that she would be scared of getting to know any guys until she were ready to have sex and I think that would be unfortunate.
Well, not to throw society into disarray, but girls should be wary of guys. Rape is still a problem (9% of all high schoolers according to the CDC at http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/svfacts.htm ). The good thing is that being aware that a problem can happen helps people avoid getting into those situations. My guess is that the best approach is to explain what can happen and how to avoid situations that they are not ready for.
Yeah caution is good. I guess I've guess I've seen more of the opposite (girls being afraid of guys and visa-versa). Probably comes from having attended a Christian college, and of course us semi-autistic geek types tend to have trouble with people in general anyway. -- David W
Btw that "Been thinking..." post was mine too. Sorry, forgot to sign it.
-- David W
This may be relevant: http://www.overcomingbias.com/2007/01/bias_not_a_bug_.html.