WASHINGTON, DC -- By 2003, the world's richest nations (Japan, Germany, and the United States) expect to have earned a hundred percent gain on 3rd world debt. The bulk of 3rd world debt stems from the costs incurred by the troubled nations' governments during the late 60s and 70s, when their trusted leaders were given credit cards tied to the national treasuries. They immediately maxed their credit limits, spending their money on frivolities like new mansions, fancy cars, and mass genocide.

Currently, many 3rd world nations are only making the minimum payments necessary towards their credit debt, which ensures that they will be forever in debt to the creditor nations. For example, the total debt owed by Namibia is greater than the sum of its GDP over the next 4000 years.

CitiCorp's CEO, John Reed, believes that CitiCorp is blameless in its lending to 3rd world nations. "How could we have known that those power-mad egomaniacs would line their own pockets and Swiss bank accounts before stooping to help the common man? Besides, it's not like those nations can't consolidate their credit debt into low-interest long-term debt."

The creditor nations believe that the crippling credit debt prevents new dictators from arising, as the debt prevents them from borrowing more money to spend on themselves. Due to this quirky facet of international finance, the creditor nations plan to keep increasing the debt burden until the 3rd world nations become peaceful, modern, capitalist democracies.

Idi Amin tells the people of Uganda that the mysterious blue card in his hand will allow him to finance their genocide.