PASADENA, CA -- A re-outfitted Mars Lander II "laid waste" to challengers at the 7th annual United States Autosound Competition, according to grinning JPL engineers. "The sound was AMAZING!" witness and admitted bass-junkie Richard Sleboda stated. "You see, when the first lander failed due to radio transmitter inoperability, we were tasked with developing an alternate low-energy high-power transmission mechanism, so we basically recreated a quasar, you know, emitting a columnated ray of particles." said Andrew Jensen, one of the principle JPL engineers. "Only one day, we were testing the throughput and the trans-phasal coupling slipped, causing it to point directly at the ground, which subsequently began to resonate at a really, and i mean really, low frequency. So I decided to enter the lander into the local bass-off." Second place went to Brett Bauer, whose Mercedes-Benz cranked out a record-breaking 1248 decibels. Although this was a new world record, it was shattered seconds later by the Mars Lander II which flattened the competition with an unheard-of 1.37469 x 10^7 decibels. "It was the loudest fucking thing I've ever heard." said Mr. Bauer. According to local experts, it is also the last fucking thing Mr. Bauer will ever hear, as the Mars Lander II simulated the effects of 2.8 Richter scale earthquake and shattered all windows in a half-mile radius. On behalf of JPL, Mr. Jensen received the $10,000 cash price for having the loudest vehicle in the US, at which point Mr. Jensen quipped that JPL only needed to win another 1.5 million competitions to break even.

The Mars Lander II and surrounding area prior to demonstration.